A sign in a Shoe Repair Store in Vancouver:

“We will heel you! We will save your sole! We will even dye for you.”

At an Optometrist’s Office in Calgary:

“If you don’t see what you’re looking for, You’ve come to the right place.”

On a Plumber’s truck in Saint John, New Brunswick:

“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On a Plumber’s truck in Winnipeg:

“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber!”

On an Electrician’s truck in Saskatoon:

“Let us remove your shorts!”

In a Non-smoking Area at the North Bay airport:

“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and

will take appropriate action.”

At a Car Dealership in Lethbridge:

“The best way to get back on your feet is to miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop in Montreal:

“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room in Truro, Nova Scotia:

“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit!  Stay!”

At the Electric Company in Edmonton:

“We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window in Hamilton:

“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

At a Propane Filling Station in Brandon, Manitoba:

“Thank Heaven for little grills.”

In a Quebec City Radiator Shop:

“Best place in town to take a leak.”

On the back of a Septic Tank Truck in Ottawa:

“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises!”